May 2012
10 posts
Nyebelin
Me: kenapa sih kamu nyebelin?
Him: bawaan.
Me: HIH!
“Biar orang yang cari tau kita gimana, bukan kita yang ngasih tau mereka”
– Ihsan, lagi bijak
Lari
“Seperti yang teman-teman seperjuangan ketahui, bahwasanya selain kemerdekaan itu ialah hak segala bangsa, terlalu menyayangi seseorang di masa lampau (baca: mantan) bikin kita melakukan hal-hal idiot diluar norma dan akal sehat:
-Menghapus contact BBM mantan soalnya gak kuat liat dia masang status nama cewe lain
-Unfollow twitter mantan soalnya (mau sok) ngelupain total
-Menghapus...
April 2012
1 post
March 2012
23 posts
Kangen
Me: kangen ih
My bf: iya sama ih gimana masa aku harus nyiksa guling tiap hari?!
Me: HUAHAHAHAHAHA
Jepang
Temen: hari Senin pelajaran apa ulangannya?
Me: fisika + bahasa Jepang
Temen: aku bisa bahasa Jepang!
Me: coba....
Temen: kewashi surano michi no naka hitono, cizuwo hirogete doko e yuku..
Me: hore! #padahalnggatauartinya
Temen: itu lirik lagu Naruto tau......
Me: HUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA CAPE DEEEEEH
Temen: sut
Rumahmu Jauh
Temen: rumah kamu dimana sih Mesh?
Me: di Logam, Buahbatu
Temen: oh bandung coret... (#nowplaying Afgan - Rumahmu Jauh)
Me: heh! kotamadya tau -_-
Temen: alah jauh gitu juga..kasian ntar pacar kamu kalo mau ngapel kejauhan hahahaha
Me: ya kan masa cintanya buat pacarnya ini dikalahin sama jarak #eaaa
Temen: bukan masalah jarak, mending gitu ya kalo ga nuntut, kalo nuntut kan......
Me: ah ngga juga, buktinya aku waktu itu sempet ga ketemu sama pacar (yang sekarang mantan) hampir sebulan tapi aku ga nuntut dia buat dateng ke rumah trus ketemuan gitu kan, ngalah lagi aja aku mah.. #curhat
Temen: iya ngalah lagi tapi ujungnya putus kan?
Me: iya sih -_________-
Temen: huahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!
Ambigu
Kak Andin: aduh sakiiiiiit
Mas Aldy: kenapa? terkilir kakinya?
Kak Andin: ngga ini rahim kerasa sakit banget, aku kan punya kista
Mas Aldy: oooh..itu bla bla bla...
Kak Andin: jadi ini tuh darah gak bisa luruh trus numpuk gitu di rahim bla bla bla...
Mas Aldy: wah harus segera dibuahi itu sih
Semua: *mendadak hening*
Me: eh parah hahahahahahahahahaha
Diet
Mas Aldy: kamu diet?
Me: iya hehehehehehe
Mas Aldy: awas kurang gizi HAHAHAHAHAHA
Me: ...
“Lelah”
– Me
ACK
Me: sejak kapan seorang Ninno Dika Sandhyputra jadi cemen gini? mau nembak cewe aja gak berani
Dika: gue bukan takuuuut, cuman kan.....
Me: cuman apaan? gampang sih tinggal telepon atau ajak ketemuan, bawain payung bening; in case lu mau bilang "aku bersedia mayungin biar kamu biar gak kebasahan, sambil ngeliatin kamu pelangi..", balon gas warna-warni, kue taart pelangi, trus...
Dika: stop! kagak terima curhatan galau.......tapi itu ide kue taart pelangi boleh juga...
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA goooobs, canda ah, ajak ketemuan, trus tatap matanya dalem-dalem, trus bilang "ACK.."
Dika: hah? ACK? Andi Cuci Kakus?
Me: Aku Cinta Kamu, bego.
Dika: oh..
Mesra
Ayi: ih! Kak Dea bulu kakinya banyak kaya pacar aku..
Helen: loh jadi kamu udah liat bulu pacar kamu?!
Me: HAH BULU APAAN?!
Ayi: bulu ini kaki ih......ngga bukan gitu...
Me: Ayi sekarang maenannya bulu yah..
Kak Martu: iya ih Ayi pacarannya kaya gitu hahahahahaha
Ayi: AAAAAAH BUKAN GITUUUU!!!
Me: aaaaah bohong hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Ayi: diem deh yang gak mesra sama pacarnya..
Me: HEEEEEH!!!!
Mas Aldy: hahahahaha emang pacaran yang mesra tuh gimana coba pengen tau
Mas Firman: saling ngitungin bulu!
Semua: *ngakak*
Ayi: salah ngomong kan..........
Mas Aldy: hahahahahahahahaha ih cepetan ih pengen tau yang mesra versi Ayi tuh gimana?
Ayi: ah tau ah tau ah
Semua: *ngakak*
“Ketika lo pura-pura move on….”
– Hati
The list
Things i hate:
-burps
-someone next to me burps w/o saying sorry
-burps inside a car
-washing hands then realizing there’s no hand soap
-showering then realizing there’s no soap or shampoo
-bad news in the morning
-telur asin
-too much soy sauce in my meal
-any kind of pepes
-someone says “gue tau kok rasanya jadi lo”
-sakit badan dan ga ada Counterpain...
Bulan
Me: tunggu, ini bulan apa sih?
Him: bulan madu
Me: *memandang sinis*
“Itu tandanya kamu ditunjukin sama Allah kalo dia ngga baik buat kamu”
– Ihsan, lagi bener
February 2012
4 posts
Takut
Me: di dunia ini gue cuman takut sama Tuhan, orang tua, dan ulet bulu
Dika: satu lagi ketinggalan
Me: apaan?
Dika: jomblo
Me: HEH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sore throat
*Di angkot, ceritanya mau turun*
Me: ehmm..kkhhhhr...
Angkot: *tetep jalan*
Me: ..kkkhriiiiiihhhh
Angkot: *jalan terus*
Me: khiiiiih....hhhh......
Angkot: *makin kenceng*
Me: ...
Ibu-ibu sebelah: *kasian* *prihatin* bang bang kiri bang
Me: hhhh mkkhhsiiihhh....
Ibu-ibu sebelah: iya hati-hati ya, neng
Otak & Hati
Kalian tau lovebirds?
Yaudah kalo tau bagus.
Ngga, gue ngga akan pake filosofi lovebirds.
*sentuh jangkrik*
Oke, oke, fokus.
***
“Kenapa sih kamu gampang banget ngebatalin janji sama aku?”
“Ya abis gimana tiba-tiba males”
“Males?”
“Iya, males”
Males.
Males.
Males.
Males.
Kata sifat yang satu itu terus muter-muter di...
January 2012
7 posts
So, Tell Me Why You Do Want a Divorce?
HUBBY: I can’t stand her attachment to Facebook. She just can’t stop checking it every five bloody minutes!
WIFEY: Oh, you can’t stand it because your buddy tagged you that photo where you were clearly staring at that slut’s boobs!
HUBBY: I did not stare at her boobs. It’s a stupid angle! You’re the one who added random hot guys with six packed tummies as your *friends* in Facebook.
WIFEY: Hello! Everybody knows that they are gays! I did that only to tell you to go to the gym!
HUBBY: Oh, I love the way you communicate to your husband.
WIFEY: Don’t teach me how to communicate, you BlackBerry-addict! You and your constant obsession with the number of your followers on Twitter!
HUBBY: I’m a marketing guy, for God’s sake! I’m manning my corporate’s Twitter account! I told you that a thousand times!
WIFEY: And, that’s why you lock your own personal Twitter account and never accepted my following request?
HUBBY: I accepted you once, but then you unfollowed me. Remember?
WIFEY: I unfollowed you, because you never followed me back.
HUBBY: I never did that because I know you only use Twitter to do stupid chat with your friends.
WIFEY: Oh, and you do serial tweets on just whatever, from dinosaurs to the history of China! Just blog it if you wanna brag your Wikipedia knowledge, will ya’?!
HUBBY: Just like you brag about your interplanetary fashion styles in Blogspot?
WIFEY: I. Am. The. Best. Fashion. Blogger. In. Town! I have to appear weird! You are so unbelievably childish!
HUBBY: Talk to my hand!
WIFEY: I tried. I can’t. Your hands are busy with your BlackBerry.
OKAY, OKAY! Please, stop! Let’s start from the beginning. Where did you two meet for the first time?
HUBBY & WIFEY: Friendster.
-Ve Handojo-
Bertahan
Me: dimana? masih di Serang?
Zilkha: ngga, udah bertahan.
Me: hah? udah bertahan gimana maksudnya?
Zilkha: kan kata kamu serang, nah Zilkha bertahan, ngerti?
Me: oh ngelucu itu tuh?
Zilkha: asem..
Itsaaaah twoooo thousaaaaand aaaaand...
“Happy new year 3012! From the future me, yeaaah you all still stuck in 2012? I’m at 3012 bbm-ing and tweeting using my thought controlled blackberry, while driving my convertible Mustang GT hovercar …. Enjoy 2012 peeps! And hope that the mayans are wrong and 2012 won’t fuck us up and kill us all!”
Bhahah. That was a broadcast message which sent last night by Dj...
December 2011
3 posts
“Hidup itu ujian, selesai gak selesai harus dikumpulkan”
– Akbar
November 2011
2 posts
The Pelay
Him: hey miss singkatan gaul, any new word?
Me: yes!! its delcon.
Him: del…wut?
Me: delcon. DELete CONtact in bbm
Him: omg.
Him: eh pelay nih rese deh
Me: hah? pelay?
Him: PEnding& deLAY
Me: -_____________-
TFTYJMMD
Me: i found a new singkatan gaul.
Him: apa?
Me: TFT
Him: stand for...
Me: Thanks For Today
Him: which means....
Me: they say it when they had such a great day/time w/ someone. i think.
Him: got it.
Him: TFTYJMMD
Me: huh?
Him: Thanks For Today, You Just Made My Day